A worldwide pandemic hit and all of us have dealt with it differently, I have openly said that I know I have used food as an emotional coping mechanism and yep I have put on weight but I am okay with it because I know there are worse things I could have done. Food got me through homeschooling four children, food got me through missing my family, food got me through meltdowns because my autistic twins didn't understand why we couldn't leave the house, food got me through a really challenging time and look, I'm still alive!

Before I had Spencer I trained as a Fitness Instructor specialising in the gym, I used to hate exercise with a passion but one good thing to come out of my obsessive diet culture phase was finding a way to workout that I actually enjoyed, however I was so fixated on needing to lose weight that it became an addiction and one weekend the boys were at their dads I went 6 times - how I didn't see how unhealthy that was I do not know. In January 2020 I was ready to get back in the gym, Spencer was old enough for me to feel comfortable to leave him in the creche and I was feeling good about getting my strength back. Then lockdown hit, I started off doing some dance workout classes at home but as time went on I lost motivation. As the world started to open back up and we were finding our feet in a new normal thoughts of joining the gym again popped back into my brain. However, now that I had put on weight I didn't want to fall into the trap of becoming addicted to the gym again and going just to 'burn calories' it became a massive anxiety for me and I felt a bit trapped between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to go to the gym to get my strength back and because I enjoyed it but I didn't want to become addicted to working out again, these feelings left my procrastinating and putting off joining the gym.

Last month I started to feel lonely, Spencer started going to preschool two full days a week in September, a Friday morning and then my mum picks him up 3/4 Friday's for the afternoon. This is the first time since becoming a mother 9 years ago where I consistently have free time without children. I was filling my days with working on my business, walking the dog and watching Netflix at lunch times. Although this is what I've wanted, it just felt so empty, especially weekends when my big boys were at their dads and Spencer went for some quality time with my in-laws, I needed this down time and extra time to do some work but again that lonely feeling when Jordan was working kept creeping over me. So I stopped procrastinating and I finally joined the gym because more than anything I needed something where I could see other adults even if it was just a brief conversation. They have an amazing pool (I'm a mermaid at heart), a jacuzzi, steam room and sauna - which definitely swayed my decision. The gym is small but functional and it feels so good to be building my fitness back up and feeling stronger in my arms and legs. I've been going 2/3 times a week for no more than 40 minute workouts and I can skip a Monday without feeling guilt, I don't workout to burn calories, I am not restricting what I eat at all, I eat what I want including fruits, vegetables, big bowls of pasta with cheese and dairy milk too.

Even after almost four years I'm still finding my feet on this self love journey, I'm still working on my mindset, I coach myself internally most days telling myself I am good enough, I am confident and to be free of guilt. There's no end journey to loving yourself but the tools you pick up along the way can make such a difference to how you cope when these challenges do come up.

As my favourite quote says "Keep moving forward!" - Walt Disney

With love & gratitude,
Ana xo

If the last year has taught us anything it's that life is too short, there's always going to be a challenge to why we shouldn't do something whether it's being on lockdown so we can't travel or not having enough money because work has been hard to come by during the pandemic.Those are challenges, but don't let an excuse like what you look like stop you from living your life.

​The reason why you don't feel able to do the list of things you want to do until you're 'skinny' is because you see people on social media going on adventures, wearing those fabulous outfits and having those perfect family portraits and to you they all look perfect but they're not real life, you can't see beyond the screen. When someone posts a picture of their holiday you can't see the emotional roller coaster she's been through, when you see a video of someone twirling in a gorgeous outfit you can't see how she beat herself up in between each take for having her rolls over hanging, you can't see the stress and arguments behind the picture perfect family. 

There is so much that goes on beneath the surface of each human being, every worry, guilt and pressure that you feel most of the population will be sharing one of those with you. After the challenges we have all faced during the global pandemic, I like many others turned to food for comfort, to fill the hole inside me that 'staying home' brought, I have put on weight and I haven't mentally adapted to how I look now.

We went away this weekend for our first anniversary (a last minute pandemic wedding after postponing from June) and I set up my camera to take some photos of us on Cheddar Gorge and when I looked at them I instantly thought "Oh wow I look fat" even after years of work to feel comfortable in my own skin, I still had that initial sinking feeling but you see self love isn't a destination, it's a journey. I know that because I spend a lot of time around social media where most people have smaller bodies than me I am not used to seeing my own larger body.

You see what we surround ourselves with is what we become, our minds get comfortable with what we see continuously, so if we are following a lot of people with smaller bodies than ourselves when we see that photo or catch a glimpse of ourselves in a full length mirror we are going to feel disconnected from our bodies. We spend more time connected to what society leads us to believe is the 'ideal body' because it's what we see air brushed, photoshopped or filtered on our feeds than we do connected to our own bodies which is where the disconnect comes.

We need to change this because being connected to an 'ideal body' that is impossible to achieve leads us to self loathing, which knocks our confidence, which knocks are positive mental attitude, it can lead to being more snappy to our loved ones when we're triggered and it can stop us from making memories with our family and friends because we feel as if we need to wait until we have lost weight.

To start with I suggest unfollowing or muting people who make you feel bad about your body and find new accounts of women who are celebrating their bodies in all shapes and sizes. Then start reconnecting with your own body, buy yourself a lush smelling moisturiser and after you've washed or before bed just take time to smother your body and for each part of your body think how grateful you are and what it's done for you in life. We are all on this earth for a reason, it's time to stop waiting for the perfect time or the perfect body and time to start finding joy and making memories everyday.

With love & gratitude,
​Ana

My bright pink hair became a massive part of my brand, I felt like it was pretty easy to recognise me and helped me not only to stand out but to also show that I practice what I preach with confidence. Recently I've made some changes in the business and instead of doing monthly launches for our new collections I was going down to quarterly launches. It takes a lot of work going into a launch taking photos of myself in the pieces, taking flat lay photos, editing the photos, uploading them and putting them on the website, etc and doing one a month wasn't sustainable any longer. I've also made big changes in what we offer as it is our most inclusive range yet and you can choose from all our colours whichever you would like with what design, so a bit more personal to the individual customers taste. 

Last week was supposed to be my big photoshoot (when I say big photoshoot I mean I'm the make up and hair stylist, I'm the photographer and I'm the rodeo who sets it all up too!!) however, I unexpectedly had the boys home which meant I had to move all my work over by a child free day bringing us to the Monday before we launch on the Thursday - cutting it fine!! By this point my hair needed redoing, I literally have to do it every 10 days to keep it bright but I'd ran out, so I ordered some more off of amazon. I went to do my hair on Saturday morning, took one out of the pack of four and it wasn't until I was 3/4 of the way through applying it to my hair that I realised the colour that had spilled on to the sink was going not a pinky red but a purply blue. I glanced into the mirror and up to the bottle next to it, "Aubergine" my eyes widened. "Jord" I called from the upstairs bathroom trying to stay calm and not lose my absolute shit, he didn't hear me, Spencer pops in "Can you go and get daddy please?" I ask again trying to act relaxed. "No!" He says and shuffles off. Brilliant! Thanks mate. "Jordan," I say a little louder "can you come up for a minute I need to talk to you?" He acts worried, "What's happened now..." The first thing I wanted to know was who I needed to lose my shit at, was it me for accidentally ordering the wrong colour or amazon for sending me f***ing aubergine. It was in fact amazon thanks a lot. I finished applying it, cleaned up the sink and then got straight in the shower, normally I let it sit for 20-30 minutes but I could see how dark it was turning already.

I hoped once it had dried it would come out lighter and miraculously my faded pink hair would shine through but alas, it did not. Every time I caught myself in the mirror or went to take a selfie I felt like crying, it doesn't look awful, it just looks brown and my pink vibrant hair had been robbed from me, two days before a new collection photoshoot. I didn't have time to postpone and I didn't have time to wash it out and wait for more dye to arrive, so my only option was to try and lighten it, my weapon of choice was fairy liquid (puke) it works but very drying so I used a hair mask after (Body Shop Shea butter and my hair smells amazing now!). I posted about it on my stories and on my personal page about how gutted I was that my pink hair that represented my brand was gone and you know what? I had the most loveliest comments and messages from people saying that it was me who was the brand, not the hair, my smile and my personality and that made me feel so amazing, so thank you if you were one of those people.

Surprisingly, I actually quite like the purple, not this dark though so the aubergine is going ASAP but I have spent most of my life being various different colours, through the past 11 years while I've been in some way shape or form self employed, I have done a lot of different businesses. From up-cycling while pregnant with the twins and NJ slept at night, to Network Marketing companies, to even spray tanning, I've done most things and my hair has been most colours of the rainbow! There seems to be this stigma around people who try out different businesses and the fact that they'll never be successful because they can't stick it out in one business, I think that by my hair changing and that choice being taken away from me I felt like I was failing my business. I know they'll be people who don't understand that but I want to be a person in this weird and wonderful online space that can be seen as reliable and not have this stigma of change = unsuccessful. However, I do believe that this is the wrong way to look at someone who tries out different paths of life, I saw a TikTok of Gary Vee where a woman was saying she was successful as a real estate broker but she'd lost her passion and how can she get her passion back and worried that she was burnt out, his reply "Maybe you've scratched your itch...Stop beating yourself up, you're not burnt out you need to do something else." Over time we change as human being, we grow and we develop, we learn new things, we lose passion and we find new ones. If you're feeling stuck in life and scared of change because of what others might think, stop thinking about what will they say and start thinking but what if I don't? 

With love & gratitude,
​Ana xo

​However, I had noticed in the past few months that the interaction was low in my membership group, I started to feel like a gym where I was giving out the content but no one had the time to use it. I thought to myself “how can I help these women get results without taking time away from their busy day?” Being a mum of four boys I know how precious free time is and once we’ve wrestled the kids to bed we don’t always have the energy to do something to progress our self development journey. Then it came to me, we all wear clothes (apart from nudists and I’m yet to meet one it’s a goal of mine haha) what if I could put my affirmations on top clothing that could help empower and/or motivate women on a daily basis...the vision of Statement Clothing was born!

On my search to find a supplier we then went into a global pandemic, the schools shut, I had all the boys home, the twins only going to school two days a week even though they were classed as vulnerable children but I kept going. It also seemed like everyone around me was coming out with their own line of clothing with slogans on, I doubted myself and whether I should continue, I was very selective (some call it fussy but I wanted quality!) I did eventually find a supplier that I thought would work for me. We launched our first collection 27th May 2020 for just three days! We did a lot more orders than I expected I was so happy that people could see my vision. When I carefully went to put through the first order at the checkout I was charged with a very large hidden fee which then wiped any profit I had left over. I was crushed, no I was full on gutted, I cried into my glass of wine and threw my toys out of the pram like a little baby. “Why am I even doing this? I have enough to worry about in my life.” The words that swirled around my head but I knew exactly why I was doing this.

I of course continued and for our second launch worked with a lady to produce the next four collections and as we came up to Christmas, the kids were back at school so I only had the toddler to deal with so I started to look into how I could produce our collections myself from my bedroom office. I thought it was going to cost a lot more and take up a lot more space than it does but we didn’t and in October I produced my first collection with 90% of the items being made by me. The first four months I had my best months and it felt like I didn’t stop, we went from being open for only 3 days to being open all month long. It was a lot of work and there was and some days I’m totally overwhelmed, seeing selfies of our customers ruling their clothes with confidence makes it all worth it. This is why I have set our expected delivery time to 2-3 weeks to allow me to get orders ready to the best quality standards fitting around my family and all of the other parts of the business I have to run. Also to help with the overwhelm I know have the lovely Rachel working with me as a VA and helping me keep up to speed and hopefully help us to get closer to our big goals.

I’m very lucky to have a supportive family, all my boys have worn tees made by me, I even managed to get my Luca in one, normally he only wears shirts and jeans, so that was a big accomplishment. My eldest has designed one, Jordan has created a whole Fathers Day Collection and my dad collects all my pink parcels to take to the drop point.

Our biggest challenge has been to get clothing in a wide variety of sizes, brands are just rubbish at it! There are very few colours available but I’m proactive and always searching, the other day I actually found a company who goes up to 7XL!! I was so happy, I mean yes they’re basic colours but we have the freedom to do bright and bold designs to include even more people.

What’s in store for the future then? Well my big dream is to have a small warehouse in the next village, where I can have a team of mothers and provide them with flexible work hours to fit around their families, I’d love to employ mothers of special needs child respect in particular because I know how many appointments you need to go to and how hard that makes it to get a “normal” job. Also world wide domination, of course! A Self Love Detox factory in every continent making our own tees so we can have all the colours and all the sizes empowering ALL women to rule their clothes with confidence.

There we have it, the past 12 months all in black and white, this is just a snippet of the joys and the struggles this journey has bought, I am constantly learning and growing and I am forever grateful to everyone who has become a customer, liked/commented/shared a post and become part of our community. Thank you! 

Stay tuned to see what the future brings us.

With love & gratitude,
​Ana Louise Bonasera

Here’s a snip of the 5 areas we'll cover…

1. Ground yourself - if you’ve never heard of it, just think or reconnecting, getting out of your busy brain and into the present moment. Take some time breathing in the fresh air, meditate or maybe do some yoga.
2. Thank yourself - what are you thankful for that your body has done or is doing for you? Your beating heart, your strong legs, your loving eyes?
3. Believe in yourself - create positive affirmations, copy them down again and again or speak them out loud on repeat.
4. Nurture yourself - listen to your body, what does it need? To stretch, to dance, to run, to be nourished, to rest?
5. Express yourself - listen to your mind, how are you feeling? Be honest and honour your feelings, share with a friend or take time to journal.

There are so many different exercises that you could do for each of the topics, that’s what’s important is that you can tailor this to suit you, whether you love getting up at 5am for an extra hour to yourself or if you’ve got 5 minutes before all hell breaks loose and you just need to tap into 3/4 areas to keep yourself calm. The same routine will not work for every woman but covering these areas with different exercises can make such a difference.

If you're ready to dig deep and build your own morning ritual using our formula on the 26th December we are starting a 5 day course, check out the page below for our early bird offer.

Give yourself the present this year of prioritising yourself.

With love & gratitude,
Ana Louise Bonasera

More often than not I wouldn't be dressing for me, I'd be dressing to impress other people, to live up to society's standards of beautiful, always asking myself "What would so and so think?" and listening to those voices in my head that were telling me I was too fat or the wrong shape to wear what I truly desired. Therefore, I'd normally end up at the end in some kind of black dress, with sucky in pants up to my bra, cutting into my butt and giving me a massive wedgie. Then the whole night I'd feel self conscious and wonder if everyone could see my panty line.

How about jeans? Jeans are a battle I have faced my whole life and still do, finding ones that actually fit both my smaller waist and my thunder thighs, being a pear shape haunted me. I always felt like I was uneven, unbalanced and that my body was just wrong. "I'd be more attractive to men if I had bigger boobs" I genuinely believed and constantly researched plastic surgeons, I'd actually picked one at one point and I am so glad that I never knew you could do payment plans or I might have gone ahead with it. Trying jeans on in the changing room was pure torture, what is up with those mirrors?! I swear down they make you look 10x bigger and a completely different shape. I'd pick up the size I wanted to be and then the size bigger to be safe and when neither of them would fit I would just collapse on the floor as tears ran down my cheek. Once when this happened the shop didn't actually go any higher than the size bigger than I wanted to be and I felt like a failure, like I didn't belong. I left the changing rooms and rushed out of the shop, snapping at my dad letting out my frustration on him (sorry pops).

I was obsessed by the number in the back of my clothes I let it and other people's opinions of what you 'should' or 'shouldn't' wear take over my life, my style, my passion for clothes. It took me a long time to come to terms with the size I am, after trying a million diets and thousands of hours working out, it wasn't until I found self love that I could be truly happy and proud to be myself.

A number in the back of your clothes, is just that, no one else is going to see them. When you rock up to a party is looking in the backs of peoples trousers or t-shirts to check what size they're wearing the first thing you do? NO! It is literally one us who sees this and it does not define our beauty.

Stepping away from those unwritten rules of what we're allowed to wear isn't easy but just start with a pop of colour, jazzy socks or pants if you want to start small, then move it up to a scarf, a headband, a top and perhaps then you'll start to find your own style again and be able to start dressing to express yourself.

With love & gratitude,
Ana Louise Bonasera

Who you are, what you love, what makes you laugh, who you admire...etc. There are so many sources of content in this world telling you to be like someone else "lose weight - be happy" "exercise - be happy" "find love - be happy" "get a career - be happy" "go to university - be happy" so many different opinions from everyone else on what we "should" do to be happy but what about what we actually want from life in order to be happy? How about listening to our bodies needs and our hearts desires.

Life is so busy, trust me I have an understanding, it's so easy to lose yourself. When my twins were born my eldest was only 14 months and we were in hospital for over two weeks as Jude had suspected meningitis and was on antibiotics. Then when we were home all of a sudden I was on my own with three children under 15 months having just under gone serious surgery (c-section) I had family helping but I quickly went into what I call "survival mode" routine routine routine - that was the only way we were going to make it through. I remember washing those 28 bottles a day, swaddling them up at 9pm and bouncing them around the living room while watching some TV show on BBC Three looking for the best British hairdresser for a few hours while they had their colicy cries. Full on survival mode, but we made it through and it was definitely a necessity at the time, even though sometimes it's needed, sometimes we forget to pull ourselves out of it. We constantly put everyone else before our own needs that we forget to take care of ourselves.

Take a look and check if you're in survival mode, are you making time for you or are you just trying to make it through the day? I get it, the world is a weird place right now but I encourage you to just do a little digging and find something out about yourself that maybe you forgot or never really realised. I always suggest this but have a go at 16 personalities .com I find it fascinating and often go back and read my own personality. 

It's time you start putting you first and appreciating your own self worth.

With love & gratitude, 
​Ana Louise Bonasera

P.S. A little throwback for you!

Person 1: You look amazing!
Demon sat on my shoulder: They’re lying.
Person 2: You have a lovely figure.
Demon: They wouldn’t be saying that if they saw you in a bikini
Person 3: You’re so beautiful!
Demon: They’re just saying that because they feel they have to.

For a long time I let that little demon sat on my shoulder fill my mind with negative stories, stories about how I was unworthy of love, how I was insignificant to everyone else and so much more.

I know I'm not alone, I know that most of us have some kind of little voice that puts us down and just to reassure you further it's actually a natural instinct we've still held on to since the cave man days. Me see another man, me eat man or man eats me. We used these natural instincts to judge whether we would eat or be eaten, now we use these instincts to compare ourselves...She's so much prettier than me, I have no chance. 

I call my little voice the demon sat on my shoulder, I feel like giving him a persona makes it easier to imagine kicking him to the curb when I'm conquering these negative thoughts, but how can we achieve this? It takes time and practice, however, the first step to acknowledging him/her/it whatever you want to call it, is powerful within its self. The next time you hear these negative stories being whispered into your ear, notice them, stop the thought, take a big deep breath in and let out a long sigh. Let the thought go! If you can't manage to change the thought to a positive one just move on to a different subject, something completely unrelated, projects at home, what's for dinner, good films or boxsets you'd recommend, anything that's uplifting and will distract your mind.

If you can make the next step I really encourage you to Flip the Script which is something we're going to talk more about in our 5 day course that's coming up "Self Love Foundations: Believing in your beauty and worth" take the negative thought and flip it on it's head, think of the opposite the positive side of the thought.

As I said, it takes time, it takes practice and even years into my own self love journey I still struggle with my little demon whispering the negative stories to me, although now I have the tools to silent him a lot quicker. If you're ready to start believing in you then please come and join our course starting Monday 19th for just £9.99 I am going to be live with you everyday covering clarity, connection, choice, courage and ending on celebration! I cannot wait to see the ladies who join us blossom and I really hope you will be one of those.

Have a fabulous week, stay safe and remember our GRL PWR community is always here to support you if you need us.

With love & gratitude,
Ana Louise Bonasera