There are some things about becoming a mother that aren't spoken of while you're pregnant, they're generally not the prettiest part of birth or your postpartum journey but all the same should still be talked about, I mean I'd rather be more prepared than surprised, am I right? Now, don't worry I'm not about to get gruesome with you and dish out all the gory details, I'll bring you in gently (for now *enter evil laugh*). But in all seriousness there are somethings that could do with sharing to prepare the new mum and for us experienced mums to not feel like we were the only one going through it at that time. Are you ready? It's time to talk about survival mode.
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As I have been preparing the last few days to run 10K around London in my underwear, anxiety had been building, I’ve made up every excuse under the sun to get out of it...
Living in a world where we can get anything at the tap of a screen or touch of a button, we are a society obsessed with instant gratification and rewards, this can be dangerous especially when it comes to weight loss. The desperation to be accepted socially leads the diet industry to take advantage of vulnerable people.
We go about our lives, without a care in the world, the majority of us say whatever we feel like, not thinking who is listening, but those of us who have children or small people in our lives who look up to us as role models, are always watching. Now we pick up on this when we accidentally let out something that rhymes with 'duck' or add an 's' in front of hit, my 6 year olds eyes widen and mouth drops, I sometime think he's a stricter child than I am parent...so we slap our own hand say "naughty mummy, you mustn't repeat that." and go on with our everyday lives. But what about when we drop another 'f' word...fat? What about when we are trying on clothes and pointing out all (what we see as) imperfections and flaws, my bums too big...I have no boobs...why can't my waist be smaller...I've got three chins...my nose looks like a beak...I can't go out looking like this...I'm ugly. What do you think goes through their tiny developing mind when they hear you body shame yourself? They take it on board and some personalities won't pick up on it, but the majority of the time they will.
There’s the age old saying of whether to trust your head or go with your heart? And when we come into challenging cross roads in our life, we often turn to this and ask ourselves whether we should go with our head or heart. In the modern world that we live in, mental health is at all time high, anxiety, depression, bipolar, and so much more. These are pressing issues which need to be taken seriously and some elements of mental health can take it’s toll on everyone.
I feel like self love is made out to be like this mystical creature or some euphoric island that doesn't exist. It's full of fluffy blush pink clouds, shimmering sunsets and everybody poops glitter. But in reality self love is still real life. Once you gain love for who and what you are, life doesn't change dramatically. So what is different?
I think...I mean I know I am one of these people who “just gets on with it” I don’t stop to feel the emotions at the time, I look for the positives, I research to learn more about it, I put up a wall and take myself out of the equation. So recently, when I totally flipped my lid, it was a long time coming.
So I know what you might be thinking...this "self love" crap is a load of hippies sat around in a circle making peace signs, giving out hugs like there's no tomorrow. Well, if you weren't already imaging that, then I'm sure you are now, but what I can so is that it may be the case for someone, but self love can be for the everyday person too. I'm a mother of 4 boys (seriously outnumbered), my life is complete chaos most days but if I don't make time to dedicate to "self love" then it's very likely I'll lose my shit on numerous occasions before bed time.
I want to be real with you here... |
AuthorAna Louise Bonasera, mum of 4 boys, girl power enthusiast. Archives
November 2021
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