How many times have you ended up in a heap amongst a sea of clothes wondering what on earth you're going to wear and feeling deflated? I know I have countless times, somewhere to go and 'nothing' to wear - when really there's loads to wear I just didn't have the confidence to believe that I looked good enough. But good enough for who?
I know I know, I'm always banging on about it but it is so important, in fact I believe it's the first step to truly accepting who you are and prepares you to begin your self love journey. Regaining some clarity on you.
Person 1: You look amazing!
Demon sat on my shoulder: They’re lying.
Person 2: You have a lovely figure.
Demon: They wouldn’t be saying that if they saw you in a bikini
Person 3: You’re so beautiful!
Demon: They’re just saying that because they feel they have to.
For a long time I let that little demon sat on my shoulder fill my mind with negative stories, stories about how I was unworthy of love, how I was insignificant to everyone else and so much more.
One bad thing does not equal a whole bad day, not even two or three bad things can ruin your day, unless you choose to!
This morning I had my first morning without my husband (yes I can say that now eeek!) I was feeling organised, for once, I had sorted out the snacks and some of the lunches the night before, I got up early and had breakfast and coffee, I was absolutely smashing it. Until I stood in dog shit...fresh and warm! Our Mollie doggy had sneaked up behind me while I was sorting the twins beds out and in the dark I stood barefoot in the poop. *Breatheeeeeeee* I pulled my big girl pants up, I cleaned up and got on with our morning, I severed the breakfast up for the four boys and then I hear a "Mummmmm what's this?" coming from the bathroom. With closer evaluation the dog had managed to get into the cat litter and dragged cat shit now through the bathroom and hall. *Breathe in and breathe outtttt* Happy Monday!
These alone could have ruined my morning, together they had the power to destroy my mood for rest of the day, however, I knew I had a choice to let it take a hold of me or to keep moving forward. I cleaned up again, sorted the boys out for school and everyone got out of the house on time. Now I'm home, child free and getting on with my morning actually being able to do some work without a child begging for a snack or ramming a car into my foot. We always have a choice, sometimes it's much easier to choose to go with a bad mood and end up binging Netflix instead of being productive and sometimes that is needed, it's okay to take time out but I had set my day up right, I didn't buy into the "Bad things happen in threes" story that I've grown up with all my life - anyone else ever heard of that? I used to do this and I'd literally be on the lookout with my binoculars for bad thing no. three to happen and it would because I was looking for it, I was willing it and wishing for it to fall in my lap.
We always have a choice, assess the situation, how you're feeling and what you've got to get done that day, do you need a 'bad day' or can you keep moving forward to having an amazing day?
With love & gratitude,
Ana Louise Bonasera