Rule your clothes...

What to avoid during the warmer months…

• shorts
• mini skirts
• skirts with slits
• crop tops
• bikinis
• definitely no boob tubes, strappy vests or off the shoulder numbers
• basically anything that gets a bit of flesh out
• body con dresses
• body con skirts
• anything too tight fitting AVOID!!
• ripped jeans
• boyfriend jeans
• any jeans really
• patterned trousers
• pattered maxi dresses
• patterned skirts
• actually anything patterned you really don’t want to draw attention to your ‘problem area’
• floaty skirts
• floaty trousers
• floaty anything really it’ll just make you look 10x bigger than you already are
• definitely NO stripes, you know the ones that go across the body because that just makes you look wideeeee
• oh and forget bright colours, you don’t want to draw attention to yourself, do you?

What to wear that’s ‘flattering’ during the warmer months…

• stick to dark colours
• black is just so flattering
• m&s do some great shape wear swimsuits and kaftans to cover up
• and the wrap dress is your ultimate best friends, it holds a multitude of sins.
• aka your body is a multitude of sins.

Any of this sound familiar? Okay, I know I’m over exaggerating (slightly haha) but is anyone else totally done with wearing what ‘flatters’ them - I get where people are coming from ‘emphasis your best bits ladies’ but what if women take on board all this advice and come to hate every inch of their body? Like I mean loathe it so much that they don’t want to wear anything but a dress that resembles a black bin bag? Wrap dresses are great but who the hell wants to wear them everyday of the week? Shape wear is great but what if it doesn’t have the style or colour I want? I’m not saying never wear these things but are we to deprive our own personal desires due to our shape or size when it comes to fashion? Hell no!

I know of women who have genuinely overheated during summer because they were too self conscious to wear clothes that showed any amount of skin. Trust me when I say I have and still do sometimes struggle when it comes to wearing certain items of clothing during summer. Shorts in particular, the whole ‘my knees are too chubby, my cellulites on show as well as my large pasty leg’ thoughts go through my head, so I completely get you but the real question is why do we feel this way? Why is it acceptable to see people in shorts and other flesh baring clothes and not so for us? Let’s explore this.

When you see TV adverts, billboards on buses, magazine covers, movies, models in catalogues, promotions on social media, they all have one thing in common, the sizes of their models. I mean we are starting to see more diversity when it comes to shapes, sizes and ‘flaws’ but the majority are still the same size 8/10 maybe 12 at a push, with perfectly smooth skin, flat stomach, slim thighs and toned butt. Even though they are the majority of advertising that we see, they are the minority of society. The average size in the UK is a size 16, therefore the majority of us are bigger than the models we see. Yes, companies are using models that are smaller than the majority of the population and trying to sell us clothes that we want to wear but on a completely different frame. What!? That makes NO sense whatsoever, right?!

Now, all bodies are beautiful whatever size but we are missing representation of so many of us. We feel uncomfortable in clothes that are some what revealing because we don’t see a representation of the thick thighs, the bingo wings or the marked skin. The more visible a variety of bodies are the more at ease we will feel going out in public in less clothing.

It’s time to ditch the rules on what to wear and time to start embracing your body and find the confidence to wear whatever the duck we want. Yes, get those arms out, flash those thunder thighs and show off your stretch marks ladies, we’re coming out for summer whether society likes it or not.

Here’s a few tips for you to use to help you tackle that little inner demon who keeps holding you back…

1. Go shopping, pick something you love the look of, get a few sizes to try on, find the one that fits and go for it. Don’t always trust the mirror in the changing room they can be right bitches to us all if it fits, you love it and you know if you walk away without you’ll regret it, get it. The key here is to not be defined by a number, for so long I avoided buying jeans because I refused to buy them in a size (or two) bigger than what my “ideal” was. The only person who sees the number in the back of your clothes is you and how often do you stare at the label that hard!? Only you will know, you choose how it makes you feel and remember the average size is a 16 not the models who display the clothes, wherever you are on the sizing chart, you are worthy of wearing fabulous clothes.
2. Everyone feels it!! Everyone feels self conscious, you could take the woman with the most perfect body, the one that you look at in awe and day dream about wishing that you could look like her, yeah even she will have her own body hang ups. You’re not alone, we all go through this breathe, smile and be kind to others now having the knowledge that they have their own little inner demon to battle.
3. Find gratitude for what you’ve got. It can be so easy to get caught up in what we don’t have but you know right that there are so many people out there who are longing after what you’ve got! Start saying thank you to you! For the ability to walk with your children, wrap your arms around them, watch them play, hear their laughter, breathe in life and breathe out love. We are so blessed in so many ways. It’s time to stop getting wrapped up in what other people might think, how other people might perceive you, to whats right or wants wrong and just starting living life to the full.

As I always say you weren’t born to just survive, it’s time to live. I am loving seeing everyones posts in our support group Self Love Detox, I feel privileged to be on this journey with you and to empower you to flourish.

With love & gratitude,
Ana Louise Bonasera
Confidence & Clarity Coach
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