When I had just started secondary school I very excitedly signed myself up for a school talent contest, I somehow managed to convince a boy to sing Grease ‘You’re the one that I want’ on stage with me. I loved going to karaoke with my dad and sang in the school plays at primary, it wasn’t a matter of being confident back then, I didn’t know what confidence was, I just liked to sing so I did it!
When it came to singing on stage during the talent show I felt so good and had so much fun and as soon as I got off the stage I was already thinking of ideas we could do for next years show but then came the voices, the opinions of others. They were mostly good but there were some people who were negative and some people said they couldn’t hear me at all! I thought I was a great singer but then I began to question myself. Looking back I remember a lot of people questioning “you’re only in year 7?” Like someone who just came up to secondary school shouldn’t have the confidence to get up on stage and sing. Guess what happened next year? Nothing, because I didn’t have the confidence to do it again. Guess what happened when I went to karaoke with my dad? Nothing, because I feared that I would be judged and I was worried I wasn't good enough.
It was years before I found the courage to sing in public again, I eventually took on singing lessons and had a great teacher we did the musical based on Queen’s music We Will Rock You and I loved it, she left shortly after and the new teacher was classical and I spent a few years with him, in a Christmas concert I was able to sing a solo to the opening of Silent Night in German - completely out of my comfort zone but I loved it!
However, still to this day I don’t feel confident within my voice and since I thought about writing this out in a blog I have realised that I don't sing out loud even when I'm driving in the car, several times I have caught myself just mouthing the words, ever when I'm alone. It made me really sad that I no longer do something I loved so much because of worrying what others think. So every time I notice that I'm only mouthing the words I push myself to sing out loud and I'm putting it on my list to do before I'm 30 to go to Karaoke and find the courage to sing.
Over the past 3 years I have worked so hard on my confidence in who I am, being comfortable with how I look and believing I can be successful in business but there are still so many areas I struggle with too. We're all born with confidence as a baby, there are just events or people who knock us down, it's our choice to stand back up again, together we can find the courage to be our unapologetic selves.
Was there a time when your confidence was knocked that you still need to work through?
With love & gratitude,
Ana Louise Bonasera, mum of 4 boys, girl power enthusiast.