As I have been preparing the last few days to run 10K around London in my underwear, anxiety had been building, I’ve made up every excuse under the sun to get out of it...
But I’ll have to go alone because Jordan’s working and the boys are being looked after by my dad and in my in-laws, I can’t go to London and do a run on my own. Will they even manage with all 4 boys on their own? I haven’t trained enough, I’ll probably make a fool of myself. What about my pelvic girdle pain, that’s still not healed wince having Spencer 10 months ago. Oh I don’t have anything to put my phone in, how can I go to London on my own, do a race and not have a phone?! Plus you’re going to be doing this in your bloody underwear, are you actually insane? What the hell have you signed up for? Why did you do this?
That little scared me inside was having a field day. Last night I sat and sobbed my heart out as all these worries over took my brain, being up since 2.45am with the twins did not do my worries any favours, in fact it probably magnified them. I pulled myself together a little and after the twins were in bed and we’d had dinner and with Spencer staying at my in laws I spent the evening prepping for the run. Jordan helped me get my cheeky tag on my shoe, my number pinned on and I tried on my outfit. I felt a little more prepared and I went to bed praying for a 5am lie in!! Guess what? I got a lie in till 5.30am!!! Boys you do spoil me haha. Very grateful for that sleep.
On the train to London I was thinking about why I was doing this, I knew exactly why last night when I was crying my heart out my head was just a massive fuzz ball and I was being selfish. I’m doing this for a bigger reason, for women (and men but I am a women so I understand their shit a bit better) who hate their bodies, for women who are ashamed to wear shorts when it’s sunny, for women who sit on the beach and watch their family make memories without them because they’re too self conscious about what people will think of their size and their stretch marks, for women who think their bodies are disgusting and can’t bare to look at themselves in the mirror. This celebrate you race is for you ladies, it’s not for the ones who have taken part, it’s for the ladies who are watching and will now be able to find the courage to love their bodies just as they are.
I did it! The time doesn’t really matter but I did it in 1 hour 21 mins, I jogged the whole way, sometimes slow, sometimes a little faster but this run was about the message!! I loved the atmosphere, the togetherness, we were all nervous together and we all cheered each other on as we saw one another through the race, it was a massive sense of community and girl power!! I love that everyone had matching Runderwear on and lots personalised with their names, I chose to have “Queen” on mine and it was very fitting that the start was at Buckingham Palace! The Queen returned home, haha. But here’s what Queen means to me...
The definition of Queen according to Ana Louise Bonasera:
A powerful women on her journey to fiercely loving her body and embracing it as it is, flaws and all.
I’m on a mission to empower 10,000 women to conquer their body image issues and guide them on their self love journey by the end of 2020 - it’s a big scary ass goal BUT the world is in need of a self love revolution!!! So if you haven’t already joined our online community please do we’d love to have you along for the ride.
I am powerful
I am strong
I am fierce
With love & gratitude,
Ana Louise Bonasera
Confidence & Clarity coach
Ana Louise Bonasera, mum of 4 boys, girl power enthusiast.